The Longest Time
by Blankerts
Summary: Morgan has feelings for Reid, he has kept them hidden for so long, but can he contain them anymore when his pretty boy disappears? Slash.. you've been warned. Lots of hurt reid and protective morgan, hope everyone likes! Rated M just in case
1. It's Reid

Hey this is one of my first fan fictions so if you don't like don't read! Slash, you have been warned... I will try to update as much as I can but don't get mad I have stuff to do. Okay that's all for now, read on.

 **The Longest Time**

Most people didn't notice him, why would they? They know nothing about how amazing he is, they haven't been with him, worked with him, grown with him. I look into those eyes, they are sad eyes, experienced eyes. Oh, what happened to make someone so great have such sad eyes? He doesn't deserve those sad eyes, he doesn't deserve any of it. It is my job to protect him, the one I call friend.. but I don't mean it.

Dr. Spencer Reid.

I gaze at the back of his head, long curls fall into his eyes and I use all of my will power to not push them out of his face myself. I look at his thin, pink lips.

 _Stop. This is your best friend! it's not natural!_

My mind is screaming at me to knock it off. I shake my head trying to picture pretty boy as a friend again, when did I fall so completely in love with him? And how! I doubt the kid would even understand what it meant if I told him I liked him. Which I am NOT going to do. No way, I will not experience that much of a rejection. Hell no. Reid probably doesn't even like guys.

I glance over at the gorgeous man sleeping across from me on the plane. Damn, Why did he have to be so pretty?

I decide to go to sleep before I try talking myself into asking him out.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM(Spencer)

We got off the plane 6:48 with 21 seconds until the next minute. My eyes were groggy and begging to slip back closed, I had gotten 4 hours of sleep during the three day case. My head snaps up and the film over my mind is quickly removed as I stumble into the strong arms of the most beautiful man in the world.

"You okay Reid?" Morgan questions as he helps me back onto my feet, his voice thick with concern. My mind tries to come up with a coherent response.

"Did you know that not getting enough sleep causes as many as 1,500 deaths every year?" Morgan rolls his eyes and my cheeks flash with heat, that was the stupidest thing I think I have ever said.

"Kid you are not capable of taking care of yourself right now, you're coming home with me." A twinge of excitement at those words came with the downfall of the knowledge that Derek was just making sure I was okay, he was being a good friend and nothing more.

"Morgan, no I ha-"

"Did it sound like I was asking? Get your skinny ass in my car Reid, it would be stupid of me to let you go off like this." My heart pounds in my throat, he doesn't notice how beautiful he looks right now. Lust fills my eyes and love fills my heart, swarming me and picking up the broken pieces of what is left of me as a person. I love how Morgan can make me feel whole, like I'm not just a screw up, like maybe I can do something. Maybe I can help someone.

"Fine." I mutter with fake petulance in my voice. I slip into Morgan's and he follows my lead, in a matter of minutes we are at his apartment.

"Hey Reid you want some sweats or something?" I ponder the question for a moment, I don't mind sleeping in the clothes I have on but I do love the smell of Morgan, I love when it encompasses me while I sleep, like my feelings have been returned.

"Uh.. y-yeah" I trip over my words like an idiot, "Can I borrow a shirt too?" A devious grin I refuse to let form on my face grows in my thoughts.

"Sure thing kid." The car was off and we step out, my throat clenches as I realize that this, like any other day, will just be the same disappointment. And all the happiness I possessed falls away, and just like that, I am swallowed by an inhuman pain as the truth laughs in my face.

 _You're never going to be good enough. You are a freak! Why would someone perfect like him want to be with someone pathetic like you!_ The realistic part of myself sneers in the back of my mind, just because they're my thoughts, doesn't mean they don't hurt just the same.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM(Morgan)

Reid had left early this morning, last night he seemed okay but then it was like all at once a piece of him died or something. I didn't dare ask him about it. I can't stand it when he is upset but it is so much worse when he is mad at me, the one who is supposed to protect him, the one who is supposed to save him. When I got the call I didn't expect this though, I mean... How could I have?

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM(Hotch)

My mind was racing, we had realized that people got killed in Quantico, but how could we have missed this? Someone kidnapping and murdering young men. More importantly, smart young men. I ripped out my phone and dialed Morgan's number, faster than light.

"Morgan?" I could hear the awful way my voice sounded, like I had just watched my son forced to eat his own liver.

"What is it Hotch? What's wrong?" Morgan's voice seemed to pick up the same quality as he heard the fear in mine.

"It's Reid." That was it, the two words that I could barely manage to choke out. The words I hate with a passion because if there is something wrong with Reid, it's bad. Needless to say they were the words I heard when Reid was shot, when he inhaled anthrax, and more importantly, when he was kidnapped. They were the words that absolutely crushed me to say.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM(Morgan)

"It's Reid" he said, and that's all he had to say. Because right then and there, everything fell away. My life crumbled down to nothing, and I too was consumed by the empty nothingness.

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So what do you think? Give me feedback, if you guys want more. Thanks for reading!


	2. My name is

Hey Everyone! Not sure if I like this so far… tell me what you all think, should I keep it or quit on it?

 **The Longest Time**

The air was thick, heavy. It reminded me of my immobile limbs hanging at my sides like concrete slabs. I tried my best, really I did, but they wouldn't move. I would have given anything just to feel my pinkie twitch.

CMCMCMCMCMCM(Morgan)

"Son of a bitch!" I fell straight forward down the stairs. My pretty boy has been kidnapped and I can't even stand up. I ripped my dark jacket off of the hanger and sprinted to my car, breaking at least three laws rushing into the office.

I glanced over at the white board in the conference room, regretting it immediately. My heart pounded in my ears, my throat, pulsed in my hands. I looked up at Hotch, refusing to allow my eyes to wander back to the board.

 _Which Reid should be working on, not actually on._ His face, pictures of his trashed apartment, blood splatters marking the place for an eternity. Just then the seemingly only good thing left in the world slumped into the office, her face weary with exhaustion, makeup smeared down her face from tears, her voice pulled down by sadness. Pain shot through me as I knew that even Garcia couldn't keep herself together during this. Files balanced in her hands and sanity is teetering on the edge of those files. Losing itself into a place far from this one.

"The Goddess of knowledge has fou-" the files dropped from Garcia's hands. She rushed towards me and enveloped me into a warm hug, big tears, waterfalls on her face, fell onto my shoulder.

"Morgan, are you okay? What happened? Get over here so I can patch you up." I felt like the last one to get a joke, what the hell was Garcia all worked up about? I went to brush sweat of my temple and as I brought my hand down I realized what had Garcia all concerned. Red blood, thick as pudding, poured down the side of my head at an ungodly fast pace. How the hell had I not even noticed?

It didn't matter how I could have managed to miss it, because within thirty seconds of the catch up to what was going on in the real world, I was lost to this universe. Gone into my own.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM(Spencer)

"Hello? Is anyone there, I- I really need something t-t-to d-drink. P-please." The words fell out of my mouth and I felt like a fool. Just then, there was a terrible grinding noise of metal against metal. A man, tall, light brown hair, entered the room through the metal door that had swung open.

"Hello, pet, how are you feeling?" The words sounded like a threat coming from his hushed voice, anger pierced in the back of my mind.

"I am not your pet you imbecile." I hissed at the mysterious man. He walked up to me and picked me up by my hair, pain ripping through my scalp as he screamed in my face.

"YOU WILL LEARN MANNERS YOU DOG!" I was now fully levitating, by my hair. I was thrown into a corner and the man walked over and began to kick me.

Everything was focused in on the feeling, pain exploding in my chest, my face, my stomach, as brutal kicks slammed into me.

Finally, the attack stopped, but that wasn't as good a thing as one would hope.

"What is your name?" It was a simple question directed towards me, I have done a lot, seen a lot for my young age, but could I really do this? How could I not though, there is no way I can take another beating like that without getting seriously injured. The internal conflict of giving the maniac what he wanted and completely degrading me, going against all of my morals. Or staying defiant, and possibly suffering more psychotic forms of torture.

"My name… My name is"

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM(Prentiss)

Morgan's chest was rising and falling steadily, a cannula was tucked beneath his nose, feeding him pure oxygen. He looked defeated, lying under the thin sheets of the hospital blanket, his eyes closed; sedated. His mouth was slack, hanging off of his jaw and for a moment he looked as though he hadn't just lost the most important thing to him in the world.

But only for a moment.

Then the memories hit me like a bullet in the back. How could we have let something like this happen to the young agent? We had turned our back for just two moments and just like that- gone.

The youngest. THEIR youngest. Gone. Disappeared into the night like a raven into blackness.

No doubt Reid was smart, his windows had been locked, doors too. Though it didn't seem to be a problem to the unsub to kick it down anyway. Reid had fought, hard. When he hadn't picked up his cell I immediately drove over to his place, it wasn't like him to not answer.

What I had found was a horror show. A shattered mirror, thrown carelessly, shards of the reflective surface scattered through the room. A broken coffee table, with blood strewn all over the floor near it. Holes in the weak plaster walls, imprints of hands, heads, one enormous one where it looked as though Reid had been thrown through. A broken mug, coffee splattered all around it. All of his precious books, thrown about, as though they were nothing.

As I remembered the scene in the hospital chair, my heart raced, and everything in my mind was telling me that I had to find Reid, had to save the youngest.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM(Garcia)

My fingers flew over the keys effortlessly as my troll bobble head seemed to mock me, doing everything I could to find our boy wonder. I picked it up stared at the unseeing eyes, painted on to the plastic, and ripped the smirking things head off.

"Garcia, are you alright?" Hotch's voice came through my door, embarrassments in the form of a blush at the thought of my boss seeing me rip the head off of a toy that I once treasured. But honestly, at this moment none of my little trinkets seemed to matter, the only thing that did was finding Reid, so that's where all of my attention went.

"Yes, sir, I'm fine just…" _Just what?_ But Hotch knew exactly what I meant.

"I know Garcia, just try not to dismantle any more toys, you might scare someone." Hotch said with something that sounded like humor, but this was Hotch we were talking about.

I couldn't even give a quirky response remarking his humor, I just turned away from him and focused back in on my screens.

Typing faster than light my first thought was to check for Reid's phone, I doubted our Unsub was stupid enough to bring it with him, but if he was I could probably turn it on and find it's location.

"Jackpot!" I quickly printed out a few files and located Reid's phone. Racing out of my office i turned to speak with Hotch.

"The Goddess of knowledge has fou-" My words stopped as I looked up at a defeated Derek, blood running down his face. I grabbed him into a long hug and cried, literally into his shoulder. He just looked broken, pale, blood stained, his eyes reminded him of someone who had just watch their brother die. I knew in all my heart that was all he could think about. Reid. If they found him like one of the other bodies we found, tossed onto the streets like garbage, it would destroy this team. I had to find the kid.

"Morgan, are you okay? What happened? Get over here so I can patch you up." Granted he was already in my arms, but for some reason he didn't seem close enough. Like this proximity wasn't good enough. I needed him to know that I was going to find the missing agent.

Morgan looked at me, confused. He brought his arm up to his head and looked surprised when he pulled it away and saw the blood.

But it didn't matter that he saw the blood, because right in that moment Derek Morgan collapsed on the ground. Be it from exhaustion, fear for his best friend, or just plain hopelessness. Derek was down for the count, and there didn't seem to be any waking him up.

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I hope you guys like it! Is the switching of characters point of view okay or should I just stick with one every chapter? Let me know what you all think, should I ditch the story? Should I keep going? let me know!

xoxoxo

~E


	3. You're Not going to break me

Hey everybody! I have gotten quite a few visitors to this story and it make me extremely happy! Thank you all for reading, though I am still not sure if I should continue writing.. let me know!

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"My name is Doctor Spencer Reid," _I'm not going to break because of this psychopath_ "I have an IQ of 187, I can read 20,000 words a minute, over four times faster than the original record holder for reading speed who could read 4,700 words a minute with a 67% comprehension rate." _More stuff, keep talking. Don't let him control you._ "I have 3 Phds in Chemistry, Mathematics an-"

A kick smashed into my side and I was thrown across the room from the sheer force of the blow. I wheezed in pain, but caught my breath, not after I struggled to draw air into my injured lungs and chest.

"A-and one in engineering, I have bachelor's degrees in"

The man grabbed my arm, hard enough to leave bruises, I didn't know it was possible to grab someone that hard. I was sure my arm was going to break as he dragged me forward by his painful grip.

"You just don't learn, do you?" he sneered in my face. He smelled like cigarettes and pain.

"How else would I have bachelor degrees in psychology and sociology?" I retorted, blood running down my chin with my words.

"Why you little- I know how you'll learn, pet. We are just going to have to hurt the ones you love."

"W-what are you talking about?" I hated hearing the desperateness in my voice but I had to be sure he wasn't going after the team or my mother, I wouldn't be able to bear it if he actually hurt one of them because of my stubbornness.

He came over with a video camera. _Oh thank god_ , I breathed in relief.

"Huh, you must be having some serious deja vu right about now pet," he sneered, the red light indicating me that the camera was on. "I mean, what with Tobias Hankel, why look at that, your team gets to watch you break all over again." I froze. How could he know about Tobias Hankel?

"They're seeing this right now, aren't they?" I questioned, if it was really like Tobais, our Unsub wouldn't have any differences.

"Why, of course pet."

"I already told you I'm not your pet you freak!"

That earned me a sharp kick to the gut followed by two more, one to the stomach and another to the face. He punched me over and over again just as many times as I screamed the mantra.

"MY NAME IS DOCTOR SPENCER REID! I HAVE AN EIDETIC MEMORY AND AN IQ OF 187 AND YOU WILL NOT BREAK ME!"

Blood was running down my head, my neck, my face, my stomach. Blood was everywhere, staining my clothes, his clothes, the walls, the ceilings. Blood was the last thing I saw as I fell out of consciousness.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM(Garcia)

A link flew up on my screen, giving me 30 seconds until it opened, demanding the team be here to watch.

"O-Oh god, Everyone I need you in here now!" I shouted, hoping they heard me. The link had a timer that was counting down from the original 30 seconds that it gave me.

"You got it too?" JJ questioned. Her light blue eyes looked just about to cry and her hair was unkempt and messy, no one even cared whether or not they looked professional. The only thing that mattered was finding the young agent.

"W-what do you mean?" My voice was shaking as she showed me her tablet with the exact same screen as mine, the same link with the timer counting down.

Just then the team, or what was left of it, ran in. Hotch, and Rossi looked at the screen and their brows furrowed. It would have almost been funny if it weren't for our current, desperate, situation.

"Please tell me Prentiss doesn't have her tablet or by some miracle Morgan is still asleep." Rossi pleaded.

"Uh, n-no Morgan woke up an hour ago and prentiss had her tablet in case they thought of something and wanted to research it, Why?" I didn't understand what the big deal was.

"Dammit" Hotch swore. _What the hell? Hotch never swears, what's the big deal if Prentiss has her- oh shit._ I finally realized the issue.

"You think it's gonna be Reid don't you? Oh Oh my poor babies, this is gonna crush Morgan." I knew how concerned I sounded but seriously how could one not, when it comes to the youngest agent and the most protective one. It was just a big mess.

And to top it off the timer had counted all the way down to 0. My phone buzzed and Prentiss' voice came through in a panic.

"Your getting it too right?" She practically yelled as Morgan could be heard struggling in the background.

Reid flashed up on the screen and I choked back a cry. His beaten, bloody, form was on the ground, staring defiantly up at the camera.

"Yeah, We're all getting it." I explained. "He must have hacked into the server or separately into all of the tablets."

"Prentiss so help me god if I'm not out of this bed!" Morgan was yelling in the background.

"Sir please, you have to calm down." a feeble nurse was attempting to calm an angry Morgan, overcome by his angered frenzy.

"Ma'am my best friend was just kidnapped and is currently being tortured for the second time in his life, so could you do me a favor here and get me the hell out of this place!" Morgan seemed to be 100% done with everyone at the moment and no one could bring themselves to blame him.

"Sir I am so very sorry for what your friend is going through, but I can't allow you to leave right now, I will go get your doctor though who does have that authority." The nurse squeaked out, so lightly I was surprised I could hear her over the phone.

I peered over at the screen and was disgusted by the man beating Reid mercilessly as he was screaming. I knew Reid wouldn't let himself break but this was almost… to an extreme.

 _My poor poor genius, oh my god how is he going to survive this a second time?_ I knew it wasn't fair of me to think that, but somehow, deep down I knew Reid was strong, he would survive this, we would find him.

"I'm so sorry Prentiss."

"Me too."

And the line went dead, and everything in me broke down as I stared at the unconscious form of Reid. The whole picture blurred and tears poured down my face as I got up and ran out of the room.

CMCMCMCMCMCM(Hotch)

No one could bring themselves to follow Garcia. We all knew she would be inconsolable, we all just had to focus on the screen in front of us, hard as that might be.

The man on the screen was lifting Reid by his arms, he chained him up by them in the center of the small room that I would guess was a storage compartment of sorts. The man left the room, but only for a moment. Reentering with buckets of what seemed to be water. the man dumped the buckets of it on Reid who woke with a start.

"You're going to learn why we follow the rules." The man growled. He pulled a knife out from his back pocket and cut open the back of Reid's shirt, exposing the man's back. He then pulled out a whip.

 _Oh no, this man cannot be serious._

Reid's eyes widened with fear. His thin body began to shake.

"What is your name?" And just like that, the fear was gone, determination replacing it.

"My name is Doctor Spencer Reid." His voice didn't shake. The man's arm pulled back and he cracked the whip into Spencer's back. A scream warped out from spencer's throat as blood pooled out from the wound.

"Wrong answer, Now what is your name!" The man was angry. It was obvious that he hated Reid's inability to break.

 _Reid for the love of god just give him what he wants! no one is going to think less of you._

"My n-n-name is-s D-doctor Spencer R-Reid." He choked out, gasping in pain. Now the fear was back, it contorted his innocent features.

The whip smacked down, somehow harder than before. With it I flinched, fighting nausea as Reid Screamed in pain.

"Your name is pet!" The man was screaming now. Any form of composure completely gone.

"I will never be your pet! My name is Spencer Reid! My name is Spencer Reid!"

The whip didn't pause anymore, blood flowed steadily down Reid's back as the whip was brought down over and over again. Reid was screaming and crying out of pain, anyone would be. The poor kid was taking a beating like no other.

"What is your name?"

Reid looked over at the camera, pain tracing every feature in his body. My mind begged him just to give the man what he wanted, but Spencer wouldn't stand for that. I knew it was hopeless, but I begged God to make Reid give in.

"My name is Spencer Reid, a-and you're not going to break me."

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I am actually really liking this chapter, hope you all enjoy it! Tell me if I should change anything or just give up on the story all together?


	4. Lord have mercy

Hey guys, decided so far I like this fic, gonna keep going with it for now. Tell me what you all think!

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM(Morgan)

Rage clouded my thoughts, seeping up every inch of my body, my soul, my being. How could someone do this? How could someone hurt MY Reid? The man more innocent than kittens and would sacrifice himself for anyone. The young genius with the beautiful hair and the think pink lips- _Not now dammit! We have to find Reid._

"Prentiss." I edged, the threat evident in my voice. The man I love _No not the man I love, a close friend, a co-worker. Not the man you love._ My best friend wasn't going to get beaten and tortured while I sit here with my thumbs up my ass. I wouldn't allow it, not for anyone. And certainly not for Reid.

"Morgan, you need to get better." There was a sigh in her voice, it was almost like she agreed with me, but subconsciously knew she couldn't let me leave for another day. We both knew Hotch wouldn't let me do anything until I was cleared from a concussion.

"How am I supposed to get better knowing what Reid is going through right now, Hell SEEING what he's going through right now! I don't know what type of man you take me for, but the one to rest and get better instead of hauling ass to save his friend is not me. I would think that you of all people would know that." I knew it was a low blow, hinting in on the situation where Prentiss was forced to fake her own death, but I had to use any advantage I could get my hands on.

"One day Morgan." I began to interrupt but she silenced me with her finger. "Then you can go into the field and kick this guy's ass, but you need to be at full health to do that." Her words made sense but a part of me, a very large part, just wanted to get up and find Reid. But knowing that would only make the whole situation worse I decide to just comply.

"Fine." I said, but now without a pout.

"Shit." Prentiss said with a start, "We're getting another video feed."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM(Reid)

I wake with a start, everything hurts. Oh lord EVERYTHING hurts.

A groan tears out of my throat and I notice how rough it is from screaming- _Why was I screaming?_ One quick movement trying to get out of my chains reminded my of the dozens of whip marks.

The red light on the camera is on. I take this opportunity to attempt to put my teams mind's at ease. I look over, directly at the lens, and attempt to mask the pain and fear that I'm sure is obvious in my features.

"Hey guys," I whisper, my throat hurts to much to talk at a normal volume. "I-I'm not going to break, I'm not weak. I can do this. I love you guys, please, find me soon."

The door the man walked in from before flies open. A loud bang following it as the man storms in.

"I want to play a game." This already seemed bad.

"Well I don't." I knew that wouldn't get me anywhere but I couldn't help myself. I had to at least try.

"It doesn't matter what you want. Our game goes like this, until you learn your name you get this," He holds up a brutal looking knife, "Mixed with this." He holds up a blow torch. And the color drains from my face. Like my whole world stopped and all I could think was, _O-oh god. How am I going to do this? How am I going to survive this? I-I can't! I don't know- I-I'm not strong enough!_

"So I'm going to ask you, one more time. What is your name?" _No way am I going to give into this psycho's game, that's exactly what he wants. I will not break._

"Doctor Spencer Reid." I can barely choke the words out without flinching away in fear, but despite my knowledge of the pain to come, I keep my head high.

"Very well Pet, remember that you dug your own grave." The man seemed generally disappointed that I haven't broken yet. Nevertheless he stepped forward and pressed the blade into my chest, deep, and dragged the blade down.

Leaving a cut about 6 inches long and rather deep I was panting by the end of the first cut. It was nothing compared to the fire though.

As he approached with the blowtorch, it skimmed over my skin and a string of agony followed wherever it went. The flame hovered over the deep cut. Then slammed down into the already aggravated skin.

White spots danced in my vision as my consciousness was floating around in the palm of a psychopath. When the flame finally pulled back I threw up the remainder of whatever I last ate all over the floor.

"Eat it." My pain-dazed mind was confused by what he wanted me to do. Then, a moment or so later when I finally figured it out, I made the whole situation that much worse.

"Fuck that."

CMCMCMCMCMCM(Garcia)

I looked at the delirious and possibly catatonic Reid on my screen as tears poured down my cheeks.

"H-Hotch w-w-we gotta find him." I was sobbing and crying, but I just couldn't bring myself to care. There was never a perfect life out there and I knew that, but if anyone deserved a perfect life, it was Reid. And what do you know? It's the child that all the people in this world almost broke that grew up to save them.

"Garcia would you please meet me in my office after the feed cuts out?" I don't know how Hotch can still keep his straight face through all of this. I can barely keep from throwing a temper tantrum.

"Y-Yes sir." I respond only to hear Spencer yell slurred swears at his captor, and that's when everything went to hell.

The man pulled a metal bar out from underneath a table in the corner of the room and began beating Reid with it. Slamming the pipe into his skin over and over again until Reid was only black and blue and you could hear bones cracking from the blows.

"Oh oh no n-no p-please god n-no." Tears were pouring down my face as I screamed into Hotch's shoulder.

"NO NO NO THAT'S NOT FAIR HE NEVER DID ANYTHING!" I knew the man on the screen beating Reid to death couldn't hear me, but I screamed anyways.

The man continued beating Reid and then set up his leg so that his knee was facing upwards. He whipped the pipe into Reid's knee and a sickening crack followed by an even worse scream ended the beating.

"Teach you to swear at your master, I own you! Get that through your head. Your team is never going to find you." With that the man walked out of the room and Reid finally allowed the only emotions besides pain and fear came overflowing out.

Reid huddled into the corner trying to straighten his knee without hurting. Tears poured down his face and choking sobs caught in his throat.

The strangest part of all though, Reid maneuvered his injured leg in front of him and seemed to bow down almost. I heard his words clearly.

"God, I don't know what I did to deserve this… again. But I have tried, tried so hard to stay strong and.. I just, can't. I can't do it any longer. Lord, I am begging you to give me the courage to survive this. I know my team isn't going to find me, I know I'm not worth an extra thought. But please. Please please please please please. You have to help me survive this. I, I don't want to be the shell of a man if I ever get back to my team again. I won't. Please, have mercy, Amen."

I didn't know it right then, but when the camera flicked off. It would be the last time I saw Reid. For a very long time.

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Eh for cliffhangers? please review, I love them. I actually need them to live. Tell me what you think on this chapter ;)

xoxoxo

~E


	5. Spencer Reid is Dead

Hey everyone! No hate, not to much love, I'm going to keep going with the Reid abuse story. Tell me if I should save him soon, tell me if I shouldn't. That's all for now!

CMCMCMCMCM(Morgan)

"Here goes, Spencer Reid was the greatest man I ever knew. He fought every day of his life. He fought the bad guys, was deceived by the ones that were supposed be good. He fought his own mind, he fought everyone here." Tears rolled down JJ's face nonstop and the crowd was half chuckling sadly and half full blown crying.

"But most importantly, he fought for people to not have to be scared. Every day he went out into the field, he held his head high. Every day this Brave man put everything on the line and-" JJ paused, I didn't think she could go on, but Prentiss put a hand on her shoulder. JJ breathed in before continuing.

"And he did everything he could to save someone. To bring someone home. To reunite a family. Unfortunately Spencer fell victim, he fell victim to the bad he fought. Spencer didn't deserve the bad that he got, but he never complained. That's why we're all here today. To honor one of the bravest men this world has seen. To say goodbye to our Spencer Reid." JJ got off the stand. We looked at the empty urn in front of her and the dozens of people around it. _I never told him how I felt. God dammit how could I have fucked up this bad? He could be dying right now thinking of my last words to him. I didn't even get to say goodbye! What sick type of God would let this happen?_

I walked up to the stand. I knew that I had to get this right, that I couldn't let myself mess this one up. Like I had everything else with Reid. I drew in a breath and walked up, one, two, three steps. I turned. I was at the podium.

It was an eery feeling. To be at the podium, talking about the man you loved, the man who was your best friend. But I decided to do what everyone else had. I just spoke the truth.

"Spencer he, he had it rough. The kid really was a fighter, like JJ said. He was such an innocent kid, he kept everyone sane. A lot of people might look back, they might think of all the little facts Spencer told them. But I remember one in particular. Spencer Reid told me something a little before he d-died. And if there is anything I would want you all to go off with this evening, is Spencer's love of Knowledge. So Spencer, for you, just this once. Everyone please remember the useless fact that over 15 hundred people die every year from falling asleep behind the wheel of a car. I love you buddy, I wish you were here with me right now. But until I see you again, this will have to do. So I love you."

Then and only then, I allowed my tears to fall, cascading down my face at an alarming rate. The man I love is dead. Deep down I know it isn't true, that he's still getting beat to death everyday. But right now, that's what I'm supposed to say. Spencer Reid is dead.

The love of my life disappeared a year ago to the date. Spencer Reid is no longer a missing persons.

Spencer Reid is dead.

CMCMCMCM(Reid)

 _I'm not dead yet! I'm still here! You can't kill me!_

"Hello pet, how is your day going?" The man. I don't want to see him. I don't like the man.

"I'm bored Master. Can I have books? Please Master." I begged. There was a time where I wouldn't call him master, wouldn't respond to pet. Those times ended about two months into my abduction. I get beat regularly, but I'm used to it now. Though at the beginning it may have seemed bad. You have no idea what it's like now.

If I mess up, make the smallest mistake. I'm almost guaranteed a round of electric waves through my body. The whip and blow torch are like play things nowadays. I don't know if that's a bad thing, but I don't really care. At this point I can barely feel anything. It's almost like I don't even exist. Like maybe I'm not really here.

Today they told the world I died. Part of me wants to believe it isn't true, but what I'm doing right now. Can you really call it living?

CMCMCMCMCM(Random Cop in Kansas)

"We just got a domestic disturbance call from the neighbors of 274 Griffin Street." The small radio on the front dash of my car said. Noticing that I was only a minute or so from the area I decide to respond.

"This is car number 42, I'm on it." I say quickly into the dispatch.

I hit it with the siren on over to the house. If you don't go fast enough, you could get someone hurt. I wouldn't have that on my conscience I floored it and whipped over to the house. Spotting the right number I pull into the house. The first thing I notice is the screams I hear coming out of the house.

"S-send for backup, something is really wrong here." I whisper into the dispatch and pull out my gun. I slowly inch into the house. I finally locate that the screams are coming from the basement.

When I make it there the scene shocks me. A man chained up, scars and bruises and cuts covering his body. He is being forced to watch as a man pours boiling water onto his skin. _Jesus Christ._

"Sir, put your weapon down. Then slowly put your hands behind your head and kneel down on the ground away from this man." I can't believe the condition of the man I was referring to.

"Shit." He says, but does as he is told.

"Oh my god." A voice from behind me. I turn and notice another officer.

"Isn't that the FBI kid that went missing?" He says, and suddenly I place him. I know this kid.

"Spencer Reid. He went missing, what four years ago?" If it's that kid, He is going to have a hell of a hard time. That poor poor kid. What horrors has he seen?

"It was three years and 296 days."

I look up at the unfamiliar voice. I know that it's Spencer talking, but somehow I don't believe that after all of this he can be talking. This isn't the type of thing you just bounce back from. From what it looks like, this kid has been kidnapped and tortured the whole time he was here.

"Y-you have to call Derek." He says, "Please." He slumps forward. Eyes closed, the man is unconscious

CMCMCMCMCMCM(Morgan)

"Is this Derek Morgan?" It's an unfamiliar voice and I'm immediately on high alert.

"Yes, is something wrong?" I ask pleasantly, hoping it's not another case considering we just finished one.

"N-no, actually we have someone who needs to talk to you, uh.. here let me get him." There was a pause. _Who the hell needs to talk to me?_

"H-hello, Derek. Is that you?" A small voice asks.

"Please tell me this isn't a joke." Tears are pulsing down my face, just like they did at Spencer's funeral. _Could it really be him? I want it to be. Oh god I need it to be._ Everyone else on the plane stares and looks at me, all asking what's wrong at the same time.

"N-no it's not a joke. They g-got me out in K-kansas last week. I just woke up from a coma an hour ago. Derek. It's me." Such simple words. They're all I need.

CMCMCMCMCM

Okay, sorry I haven't updated in a few days. Here you all go. Please enjoy.


	6. Duct Tape and Safety Pins

Nothing new to report, leave reviews!

CMCMCMCM(Prentiss)

Morgan put down the phone and he was full blown sobbing. I was completely confused by the whole situation. The only time I had ever seen Morgan break down like this was after Reid. _That can't be what it is. Please don't let it be a body._

"Morgan, what is it? What's wrong?" It's JJ. Concern is apparent as it laces her confused tone, the brief conversation on the phone was no clue to what could happened. Morgan was looking down, tears were falling into his lap. He was breathing like what almost seemed to be a sigh of relief. _If it is Reid it would make sense. We've all been holding our breath this whole time._ It's the hopeful side of me. I know it's not the realistic side of me, but it's there just the same. _Please let Reid be alive. God for once in your damn life cut the kid some slack._

Morgan's eyes peel themselves from his lap. He wipes the tears from his own face, hope contorting my already bias perspective of what was going on.

"T-they got him. Guys they have him! They got him. They have him, They have him." Morgan seemed almost delirious, could it really be Reid?

"R-reid?" I am surprised by my own voice. I wasn't expecting to speak, but I guess I couldn't control myself. Was I expected to with this much on the line? Do I even care?

"Yes."

It can't be right. There was no way they could have found the missing agent. The genius doctor. Reid was dead. Everyone knew that, it had taken years, but some had even begun to accept it. Spencer Reid can't be alive. Spencer Reid's funeral was almost 3 years ago.

Spencer Reid was murdered almost 4 years ago.

This can't be right. They have the wrong person. There's been a mistake.

Spencer Reid is dead.

CMCMCMCMCM(Doctor Calmetin)

"Spencer please you have to calm down." I plead the young man, he is crying and screaming at the nurses to stop touching him.

"STOP DON'T TOUCH ME DON'T TOUCH ME! I SAID NO! STAY AWAY!" The fact that this broken excuse for a man had the ability to even keep his voice semi calm over a phone call still shocks me. The nurses are trying to restrain the man and I make a snap decision.

"Everyone out!" They all stare at me for a moment. "NOW!" I yell. The nurses scramble out the door, backing away from the man who is seeming to calm down.

I look at my young patient, we had been forced to break his bones in 24 different places. He was covered in casts, stitches, bandages. The man may have seemed to be a patch up job on the outside. But this man was nothing on the inside. All loose duct tape and safety pins.

His hair, now clean for what was probably the first time in a while, was cut up to his ears. He had done it in the middle of the night, when I asked why, he said that it would be harder for me to grab him by it. I did everything I could not to cry at the broken face of the man expecting a punishment severe enough to scar.

Spencer seemed more calm when everyone had finally left. He stopped screaming and looked down.

"When will they be here?" A child-like voice questioned carefully, cautiously.

"Soon buddy, okay?" He nodded, trusting me. "You just have to rest, they'll be here soon." I say it in my most soothing voice and it seems to be exactly what he needs to hear.

He glanced up from the crudely cut hair and I looked into his soft brown eyes. It didn't matter the horrors he had seen or the scars that littered his entire face and body. There was something to his eyes, not just the pain or the tears or screams. Not everything he had been through. It was a purity, an innocence. It didn't matter what had happened to this man. His eyes told the truth. He was strong. It would be a hell of a fight, but I knew I could fix this man.

CMCMCMCMCM(Reid)

 _What's left of me? I said I wouldn't be this, wouldn't be a shell! I promised them! I swore! I lied! Liar! Liar! Worthless pig! I'm a freak! I worthless. I can't handle a little pain. I love them. I love Morgan. I have to stay here for them, I have to stay strong._

I pulled at my hair, the nice man in the white coat had left. So did all the pretty ladies. They had to leave though. They can't touch me, if they do then I'll ruin them. I'll taint them. I can't do that to the nice pretty ladies who were so kind to me.

"I want my team. When will they be here?" I do this all the time. Since no one would want a useless freak like me, I be my own friend. It makes it better. I know it seems crazy, but it's not. You trying living with what I did.

"They'll be here soon. Do you think if maybe, maybe on would w-want to bring me home?" I know it's a stretch. Only in my best dreams one of them want me. How could they in real life?

"No. No! NO! Stupid freak! They don't want you! No one wants you! Freak! How could you even think that they could want you. The team. Strong, brave, selfless. Want a destroyed fuckup like you?" Tears fall down my cheeks. Once they past my cheek bone they pool easily down my convex cheeks. Hollow with malnutrition. The words I hear, the ones I say, they make sense to me. But I don't want them to. I want them to be kind words. Why don't I deserve kind words?

"Please? Please. I-I did so much. Don't I deserve some kindness too? Just a little?" I'm begging. I don't notice the silent intruder who slips in my door while I'm not paying attention.

"No! Who do you think you are? Someone worth it? You are NOTHING! Learn that you idiot! The team won't want you. They don't want you. They wish you really did die." The words are sneered at me, mocking my tears.

"Pretty boy. How could you ever think that?" I was immediately alarmed by the fact that someone else was in the room. _How could I not have noticed. Probably because I'm an irresponsible freak, I deserve to get beat._

There's something different about this voice, I don't feel fear when I hear it. I feel, comfort? Do I know this man? From before? Is he one from the team? Could it really be that he actually came? Could it be Derek Morgan?

 _Why would he come for you? Why would anyone give you a second glance? If it is him, he's probably here to spit on you._

I turn my head towards the person at the door.

"It's you."

CMCMCMCM

Yayyyy cliffy. Sorry if I piss y'all off with those. leave reviews. Tell me what to do. Bye now!

XOXOXO

~E


	7. Broken man with a Broken Soul

I feel like this story could be like….. possibly good. But that would require like…. effort. And I just kinda like….. don't wanna.

CMCMCMCMCM(Morgan)

 _Jesus Christ what the hell has this kid seen? I knew it would be bad, but this? How is he gonna bounce back from this? And honestly, can he? He just seems broken, defeated. I don't think I can fix him this time. I don't think anyone can fix him this time._

"Hey pretty boy. It is me." I'm kind of hoping we can just push past the whole talking to yourself incident. The kid deserves a break, or all of them. It was my job to make sure nothing bad ever happened to him, Ever.

"M-morgan?" It was a tiny whisper, barely audible. I would have mistaken it for the door creaking or the wind if I hadn't seen his lips move. "Is it real-l-ly y-you?" Spencer trips over his own voice, sounding like he's never heard it before. He almost never stuttered back, before. But now, I doubted he could really talk to me ever again.

"Yeah pretty boy, its me. Here in the flesh." I look over at the destroyed man. His face was swollen to hell and back, lips split so far open I was sure I could see straight through to his jaw. Though none of his teeth were missing, they were all severely chipped. Thank god for modern science, we could fix that. A long scar dragged from the top of his brow bone all the way down his neck, underneath his hospital gown, hiding from my peering eyes. Stitches marked underneath his other eye and above it too, more on the other side of his forehead and on his jaw as well. 46 in total. Just on his face. One eye was black, puffed up and probably obstructing his vision, the other looked like a missed punch. Blue and purple folding around the eye socket and deep cuts where the stitches are from what seemed to be glass. Casts covered his arms and legs, bandages wrapped around every other inch of his body. His eyes seemed, the same. Even through all the pain you could see in his eyes, that same purity of the youngest agent.

"Morgan." He cooed, seemingly more assure of himself, "You came? W-Why did you come? Is anyone else here?" The questions spilled out of his mouth quickly, his head tilted up, staring into my eyes. It seemed as though he was assessing me. _Does he think I'm going to hurt him?_ The thought cut me deeper than any blade ever could.

"Yeah Reid. The whole team is here. Do you want to see them all at once or one or two at a time? Or of course if you need more time you could see them all later. But anyway it's totally up to you." I rush the words out, He needs to know that he has a choice. That no one is ever going to beat something out of him ever again.

"I just want t-to talk to you right now. Maybe tomorrow Garcia the day after JJ and Prentiss then the next day Hotch and Rossi? Kinda build up to more and more people. If you guys have to leave right now though that's okay. I understand you don't have time for me. Y-you guys should go. I'll be fine." He says, pained. I think he realized that he wasn't selling it. He looked right into my eyes and warmth melts into his, A broken smile forming on the face of a broken man. As lies pour out from a broken soul. Trying to convince everyone that he is whole. Too bad for him, I see right through his fake facade.

"Hotch got us 3 weeks off, the quacks say physically you just need to rest and we can take you home then." I really want to tell the kid he is worth our time, that we love him and how much we missed him. I want to tell him how JJ cried everyday for months. I wanted to tell him how Prentiss finally understood what it felt like to get left like that, to not know. I wanted to tell him how Hotch drank every bottle of liquor he had and landed himself in the hospital when the trail to find Reid went cold. Wanted to tell him how he did it again after his funeral. Wanted to tell him how Rossi screamed at me, cops, everyone he could. I wanted to tell him how Garcia quit her job. Only to rejoin the BAU two years later. Wanted to tell him how none of us could look each other in the eye. Most of all, I wanted to tell him about how every night I went home and I prayed for him. Every night I wrote him a letter. Every single day for the past 3 years and 296 days, I have cried for him.

"F-for me? But why? I'm not worth it! Freak! Pig! I did this to myself! I deserve this! Get out of her before my disgustingness taints you! GO! MORGAN GO NOW!" Before I know what's happening Reid is screaming at the top of his lungs and crying and kicking at everything in reach.

Nurses charged in, their needles ready like guns.

"Please no! No! He didn't do anything!" I'm yelling too now. They grab a fighting Reid and hold him down as one injects a sedative into a vein on his arm.

"Sir. Out, now." An angry nurse demands. Fury thick in her voice.

"What type of person are you to scare the kid?" _Are you fucking serious right now?_ Hearing the words blaming me for Reid's meltdown enraged me.

"I didn't do a damn thing, lady. I was trying to make him feel better and whatever that freak of a man did to him kicked in and he freaked out! So do the world a really big favor and FUCKOFF! Because you have NO IDEA who this kid is and EVERYTHING HE HAS DONE FOR THIS GODFORSAKEN COUNTRY THAT HAS DONE NOTHING IN RETURN FOR HIM BUT FUCK HIM OVER!" I don't know what had come over me, but I stormed out of the room leaving the nurse gasping as I slammed the door behind me.

CMCMCMCM(JJ)

Tears poured down my face as I hear Reid start yelling. How could he think those things about himself? What the hell happened to him to make him feel this- low about himself? Then again, who the hell is even remotely okay after something like what happened to Reid happens to them.

When nurses ran in with a needle I buried my face in Hotch's shoulder. Makeup running down my face, framing my tears in a picture perfect memory that wouldn't ever go away.

A broken man

With a broken soul

Lying to himself

Pretending to be whole

Covering his tears

Hiding his eyes

Masking his true self

Hiding behind lies

You cannot fix

His broken head

Because deep down inside

He wishes he were dead

CMCMCMCMCMCM

Some home written poetry to finish off this chapter


	8. Vodka and a Knife in the Back

I'm not really positive what I'm going to do with this chapter yet. Let's see where it takes us. I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I HAD WRITER'S BLOCK AND COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING

CMCMCMCM(Prentiss)

 _I need to see him. He's not real until I see him, don't get your hopes up until you see him alive and breathing._ God I wanted to believe that Reid was alive, but I couldn't let myself hope just to get stabbed. I had to wait.

"Emily, I need a drink and I'm willing to bet the rest of the team does too. You want to grab everyone and help me find a bar?" I consider for a moment, I don't want to drink tonight, but if I don't I might actually go crazy.

"Yeah, you find a bar and I'll call the guys." I say with no enthusiasm in my voice.

About a half an hour later the entire team, minus Reid, was gathered around a table. We all clung to our drinks, wishing that maybe they could fix everything. Like they could erase what happened in the past. Everyone was downing drinks as fast as they could. Within an hour everyone was slurring their words and no one was capable of driving. Except.. Hotch seemed to be surprisingly stable. Guy was a father, probably make sure we're all okay.

"Morgan, w-what the hell happened in there. One moment all good n stuff then the next is all like all changin' Yellin and shoutin." JJ was extremely wasted, we all were at this point. So nobody noticed her deaged talking. Everyone was just trying to take a load off.

"Man, I don't even know. S'like one minute we were havin a halfway normal conversation, then he loss his sanity or namaste or some shit. It was like watchin a wall just get smash into itty bitty wreckage. Y'know?" The words would have sounded silly at first, but each and every one was showing exactly how broken Spencer was. Each and every one putting together piece by piece of the puzzle.

"M'sorry you had to face 'im like that, know it muss be hard cause you like.. love him an' all." JJ's words seemed snake like. Slithering out of her mouth, connected. Any concept of boundaries had long since been demolished.

 _Did she just imply that we know? Like we all know that we know but did she just tell Morgan we knew?_ Everyone had known since about week 3 of Reid's arrival, I had picked up on it early into my first month as a profiler as well. Spencer Reid and Derek Morgan were both madly in love with each other. They both thought the other just saw them as a friend, but it was always more than that. Everyone had just kept their mouth shut as to not get yelled at by Morgan or Questioned by Reid.

"What did you just say?" Just like that, the drunken haze pulled back from Derek Morgan's mind.

CMCMCMCMCM(Hotch)

Dragging a struggling Morgan by the collar of his shirt I dragged him out towards the taxi I had called. He was whining, not bothering to be subtle about the fact that he was not done drinking yet.

"Drowning your sorrows won't kill them Morgan, come on, you know that." I tugged him by his shirt again, pushing him into the taxi.

"Hotch, he's been missin for sooo long. How do I.. How's he gonna know? I mean how could he. He couldn't. No, no he couldn't. But it's just me now, n' jus me sucks. I hate it. I hate this." Morgan is tripping over the words like a child who just learned to speak. _This hurts everyone, but.. How do I tell him? I mean he has to know. He couldn't be that blind. Or maybe he could. Love IS blind, well, at least in this case._

"He, uh. He… You know." _Dammit Aaron spit it out. No time for awkwardness._ "He loves you, and you love him. You two, you'll pull through. I know you will. If anyone can do this it's that damn genius we both love. You know that, I know that." The words are supposed to be for Morgan.

I give him one last push into the taxi and he, unwillingly, sits down. As he closes the door, I swear I can hear him singing.

CMCMCMCM(Reid)

It's about ten thirteen with twelve seconds until the next minute, the sun is almost halfway in the sky and I am sitting in my bed. One of the pretty ladies is walking towards me. Her name tag says Ashley, but people lie about a lot of things. What's a name to someone in a world of sleepless nights and empty promises? My name isn't even right. That other boy was Reid, I'm not good enough for that name. _Of course you're not good enough you freak. You're nothing, no one, an it. You are property to be used as anyone wants to use you! You deserved it, all of it. Good for nothing loser._

"Hi sweetheart, I'm just going to check you out, okay?" I nod warily. She tries to do things quickly, replacing a bandage here, cleaning a wound there. All in all it takes about ten minutes. She looks up at my hair, I know it is uneven. Could it be that bad that people stare? _Oh what do you care if they stare. You've felt a lot worse than a few odd glances._

"You know, I could fix your hair… If you'd like." _Oh pretty lady, I would like. You seem so kind and is it possible that there are still kind people?_ For once, the bad voices are quiet. Maybe this is a good thing. I nod again, head staring at my hands. She leaves the room, but returns in a short moment with scissors.

The experience is lovely, another human's hands in my skin. Not in a form of violence. Calming. She cuts my hair and washes it before toweling it dry. When it's done she shows me in a mirror.

"It's wonderful, thank you Ashley." My hair is still floppy, about three or four inches. I love it.

"Don't thank me sweetie. Thank master." She takes the scissors and stabs them into my gut.

CMCMCMCM(Garcia)

I wake up to a phone ringing.

"Oh my god! Why, who hates me so much to do this to me, who? I demand to know!" The hangover is burning in my brain as I pick up the phone. The woman on the other end sounds terrified.

"Miss, we've uh.. Had a situation down at the hospital. We're going to need someone down here right away."

CMCMCMCM

hahahahahaha I made you wait all this time for this. I know, I know, I'm evil. But evil is my specialty, sorry guys.


	9. Sedated Love Song

After a long Hiatus I have an idea for this story, expect it to be finished within the next month :)

CMCMCMCM(Hotch)

My phone is already ringing. It's only 5 in the morning and my phone is already ringing. I angrily grab it and yank the stupid thing open.

"What?" The acid in my voice speaks loud enough for anyone to hear.

"Hotch, it's Reid." _It's Reid, oh god those words._ She sniffles her nose, she's been crying. "It's really bad, you need to come down here."

It takes fifteen minutes for the whole team to get to the hospital, and none of us will leave his side, not until he's better.

"The Doctor- Clementine? No.. That's not his name, oh whatever! The Doctor said it was some sort of night terror. I mean Reid was going on and on about how this poor nurse was going to kill him. You should have seen her JJ, she just kept crying. She swears she never did anything, nothing at all. He just, he seems so sure." I think about the nightmares I used to have, losing my wife, my son, my team. One of the most vivid in my memory was watching Reid die, who knew there could be something more painful out there.

The Doctor walks in with a clipboard and a grim face, time for the bad news.

CMCMCMCM(Morgan)

 _I'm sorry sir, but he cannot function in society._

Bullshit! That's bullshit! I can fix Spencer Reid, I can get him back, he just has to let me try. I should have told him how I felt, then maybe… Maybe he would have stayed at my house that morning.

 _His only option is to be put into an assisted care facility._

The memory streams through my mind on repeat. Time and time again they tell me that my pretty boy isn't good enough. That's not true, he is good enough, he is so good enough. They just don't know him, they just assume he can't be helped. Everyone who knows him loves him, we'd all do anything to save him, anything!

 _I truly believed he could be helped, I'm sorry if I raised any false confidence._

False confidence my ass, I can fix the kid. I storm out of the hospital room where Reid was sleeping. I wander aimlessly down a few hallways before deciding on a plan. It takes me a few minutes, but I find the Doctor's room, three sharp knocks on his door. A pause. The door opens up.

"I'll be checking your patient Spencer Reid out of the hospital now." The authority of my voice is so thick, the Doctor is practically curled up, attempting to shield himself from my rage.

"S-sir, I can't let you do that." His first words are stuttered but the last are clear and strong. _Dedication_.

"Well, _sir_ , sucks to suck. I'm his emergency contact which means I make the decisions when he can't, and don't try and tell me that the kid you see can make decisions for himself."

"I know he can't but… Do you really think you can take on the role of watching him? No offense, but you have a job, and friends, and family too I'm sure. Could you give all of that up just for some kid you haven't even seen in four years?" _You son of a bitch._

"I'd give up the whole damn world to see him safe. Get me the papers."

CMCMCMCM(Reid)

Derek Morgan. Oh Derek Morgan, how could I have forgotten so much? All that time locked away I forgot about him. Well, I never forgot him, but I forgot a lot of our time together.

 _Oh shut up you stupid pig, you know he's only taking you out of pity. Two minutes with your sorry ass and he won't be able to stand you!_

Three of the pretty ladies walk in, one holds a big needle. The other two circle around behind me and tell me to relax, to just breathe. They say that I'm going home as there is a sharp prick of pain in my arm, and then the world slips away.

" _Oh pet, did you really think you could get away from me?" It's him. It's master. I bow my head immediately. All I can hope is that the punishment won't last long. I tried to run away, what a surprise, he caught me. I was out! For six hours and twenty-seven minutes with forty-three seconds until the next minute, I was free! But I was stupid._

" _No master. Of course not master." The response is quick, even after a little time away from my master and his cruelty. Some habits are just that hard to break. Though you would think, maybe it is possible. At least, after enough time in the real world._

" _Good." He turns his back, and leaves the room. There's no way that's all. He must be coming back, or, playing some game. Something isn't right, he would never just walk away. Never, even if I did everything right. Which I haven't, not in the slightest. I left him. I left him when he gave me.. wait, what did he give me? This isn't right, something isn't right about this place. I can feel it. There's something wrong!_

" _Help! Help! There's something wrong! Something isn't right. Please, Please! Help! I'm telling you, I'm not supposed to be here! I'm.. I'm supposed to be with Derek." I'm supposed to be with the man I love. Because that is who Derek is, he is the man I love. He is! That's who Derek is, I'm sure of it. There is so much love, and yet so much hurt, in that one, simple, discovery._

 _The man walks back into the room. He is carrying a bucket of water, and an electrically charged metal pole. I've dealt with this before, I can do it again. But I shouldn't have to. Yes, you should._ _ **Pig! Dog! Poison! Sin! Why don't you just die?**_ _Voices screaming in my head, booming pain of fiery insults._

 _The man walks towards me, he throws the freezing water on to my skin. But it doesn't faze me. How could it? Seven months of this shit and I am strong._ _ **YOU ARE NOTHING!**_

 _He hits me with the electrified pole and my body spasms. A fit of untamed agony rips through all of my skin and I realize that the part of me that says I don't deserve this, is right. I don't deserve this. I never did anything to possibly deserve this._ _ **Don't lie to yourself Spencer, don't lie to me. You never had to do anything, but you've always had it coming.**_ _And as the pain drags through me, I know now. It would take a fool to hope._

 _I mean, who could possibly be coming now? Not after seven whole months in this hell hole. Not ever. I'm going to die here. And the pain dragged on. And my life dragged on._

CMCMCMCM(Morgan)

Reid is talking in his sleep. Whimpering in pain and saying things like, "I'm sorry Master, please forgive me." and, "It's too late, no one can fix me." The pain in his voice, but I can't wake him up. No, he has to sleep. So I'm driving at two A.M. listening to the love of my life crying in pain, hearing him talk about how worthless he is and how he can't be saved, definitely not after seven months. If he's reliving an experience from that long ago and that's how he felt… how the hell does he feel about himself now. After four years in that place. Tears stream down my face, but suddenly he says something, and they stop.

"This isn't right, I don't deserve this." Hope blooms in my chest, _Maybe we can fix him after all._ "Derek will save me, I know it.. I- I love him." The words are clear as day.

 _He was counting on me._

 _He was counting on me, he loved me. And I couldn't save him._

CMCMCMCM

Before sending me death threats please remember you willingly clicked on my story...


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